Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to go through - we all grieve when this happens. It is a completely natural process but can take many different forms and affect everyone differently. Because it is such a difficult thing to experience, understanding the impact it can have is really important.
Angela Wannop, Clinical Educator for End of Life at NCIC, said: “Our feelings can feel rather chaotic after a death
which can be overwhelming and sometimes frightening. This is normal and the intensity of these feelings tend to ease over time.
“The theme this year is Better Together where people are encouraged to take time out to get together, support each other and talk about bereavement and grief.
“The NCIC Bereavement Team will have a stand outside Costa at the West Cumberland Hospital and in the Atrium at CIC during the week where you can get advice and information.”
The Loweswater Suite at the West Cumberland Hospital have developed a resource board for Grief Awareness Week.
Andrea Hendren, Quality Matron for Community Hospitals, said: "The team are very passionate of the end of life care they deliver to patients and their families; and only saw fitting that they participated in the awareness week."
You may experience some of these emotions if you have recently been bereaved:
- crying
- sadness
- fear & anxiety
- numbness and/or emptiness
- loneliness
- anger
- helplessness
- irritability
- guilt
- reduced confidence
- lowered self esteem
- loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Relief
It’s not just our emotions that are affected after a bereavement, because just like any kind of trauma, the body can experience a physical reaction which can further add to the distress. People are often less aware of these, but grief can affect your body just as much as it can your emotions.
You may experience some of the following physical effects:
- disturbances in sleep patterns
- fatigue
- restlessness
- difficulty concentrating
- nausea
- pain & tension in the body
- decreased immune system
- difficulty stopping activity
- inactivity
It can be easy to forget to look after yourself when you are grieving, but here are a few simple things can help to make it a little easier:
- Try to get plenty of sleep.
- Eat healthily.
- Be kind to yourself and don’t feel under pressure to feel better too quickly.
- Avoid numbing the pain too much with things like alcohol which can sometimes make you feel worse.
- Try to keep to a routine
- Try returning to activities you enjoyed before you were bereaved such as going for a walk, listening to music or swimming.
- Reach out for help if you are struggling to cope with your grief. See resources at the bottom.
Seeing a friend or loved one struggle with their grief can be very difficult and it is sometimes extremely hard to know what to say or do.
Everyone’s grief is unique. The tips below come from local people who have been bereaved.
Kindness Tips
Recognise
Acknowledge the death. It doesn’t matter how you say you are sorry for the bereavement, as long as you do. In person, by phone, sending a message or email – use any way to make contact. If you know it, use the name of the person who died.
Ask
Be curious. If the bereaved person wants to talk, ask what happened. If you didn’t know the person who died, sensitively ask what they were like. Show interest.
Listen
Listen again and again. If the bereaved person wants to talk about the death, or their memories of their loved one, give them the opportunity to do this.
Share
Be generous by sharing. Share anything you can about the person who died – your memories of them, or funny times. Sometimes old photographs can be helpful.
Give practical help
Grief is exhausting. Offer to do things like cooking, shopping, or taking things to the charity shop.
Be Precise
Rather than ask, for example, if the bereaved person would like you to do their shopping, make it real by saying ‘I’m going shopping now. What can I get for you?’
Involve
Grief is isolating. Give the bereaved person opportunities to experience normality. Include them in invites for coffee, a walk, or other social events.
Repeat
Make contact more than once – stay in touch. Remember to speak to them on anniversary days that may be difficult for them. Grief may last for years, or even for a lifetime.
For more advice and information on bereavement support visit:https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/